Superfluous Baloney

...because everything good in life is stolen from somewhere. (Okay, so not really. I just thought it sounded cool.)

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Most indubitably telling someone how I feel about them. People tell me how they feel all day long everyday. Even in those moments (that honestly I do find awkward) when someone is revealing how they feel about me specifically I do much better. Expect me to fess up to you and I turn into a middle schooler with a playground crush. I wiggle and squirm and look down constantly. It's sad really to discover I haven't involved in that capacity since 6th grade.

2. Think of the last time you were really angry. Why were you angry?

You know, typically I don't get really, really angry. I used to have a hair trigger temper when I was a teenager and in my early 20s (yes, the typical redhead kinda temper), but since I hit my mid to late twenties I have simmered down considerably. BUT the last time I got slightly wound up was a conversation Bud and I had about two weeks ago. We are learning we communicate very differently and that he is a little more sensitive than I, so it makes for some frustrating conversations occasionally. Thankfully, I don't stay mad for long at all. In fact I could say my maximum is probably 30 minutes and then I am tired and bored with mad and ready to move on to happy.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make one phone call, who do you call?

Fire Dept.? Umm okay maybe not. Are you sure the stewardess won't yell at me for turning on my portable electronic device before the pilot has turned off the fasten your seatbelt sign? Alright, well then I guess I would call my boss to complain that it was all his fault I was on the flight. (I usually only fly for work and drive on vacations.) I can't call mom or dad as they are divorced and I couldn't bear the thought of calling one and not the other.

4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. (1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going die? (2) What do you do with your remaining days? (3) Would you be afraid?

1. Nah, not everyone. They would find out soon enough anyway, like in a month, right? I would tell my best friend, Mom, Dad, brother and maybe a few other choice family members. 2. Mostly I would probably visit with friends and family, but I would squeeze in motorcycle lessons and a trip to Bora Bora. 3. No, I can't honestly say I would be afraid. I have always been much more afraid of growing old than dying.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love. Which do you choose? Why?

I'm not convinced you could have one without the other. How could you love someone but not trust them? I imagine it would make you a paranoid stalker freak if you did.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog?

Yes, screw the job. I love puppies and there is no way in hell I could live with myself if I didn't at least try to save it.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse or significant other. Do you tell him or her? Why or Why not?

Although, I don't think my conscience would allow me to do something like this, I would have to think about it really really hard. I would have to make sure my intention in coming clean was not just to make me feel better. I would have to decide if telling was best for everyone involved. But just thinking about cheating on someone makes me feel all panicky...ick.

8. Your best friend confesses that he or she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He or she is falling in love with you. What do you do and say?

I'm going to assume this best friend is of the opposite sex? Because my reaction would differ. If they were the same sex I would be flattered but delicately explain that I don't swing that way. If they were of the opposite sex, I would have to think about it long and hard and make sure I wasn't going to screw up the whole friendship but attempting to indulge in a romantic relationship. But I have always kind of liked the idea of falling in love with someone who was a really good friend. You wouldn't have to worry about all that getting to know you stuff. They would already know the good and the bad.

9. Think of the last person you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. do you do it?

Yes, without a doubt. Although it might just make it even harder to say goodbye all over again.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

I like to think so. I think I am an honest and genuine friend and try to give all I have.

11. Does love = kissing?

Is this asking do you kiss the people you love? Yes. This question would be better if it was reversed, kissing=love. If I was 6 I would say yes to that too.

12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage and they the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?

This is kind of an old school scenario. Usually seniority doesn't play a big role in choosing who gets cut in a lay off these days. But I suppose if they playing field was level as far as performance, I would say No, I would not. Stuff happens for a reason and I earned that job just as much as the next person.

13. When was the last time you told someone honestly how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person? Was it difficult?

Unfortunately, I have to tell people what I think quite frequently and it typically equates to them losing their job. No matter what it always sucks. Because I have to be so forward and direct in my work life, I find I tend to avoid it in real life. So, yeah it was difficult.

14. What would be harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

Ohhhh, both are very, very difficult. But I would have to say being the one to fess up and say, "I love you" first would be more than I could bare.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

This is kind of silly, but if I had to give up my dog it would suck beyond belief. She is the one who is always waiting for me when I get home, excitedly wagging that little tail, and the one who snuggles with me every night. She is such a doll. I miss her when I travel.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday, I told my momma.

17. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?

Define "correctly." Um yeah, I suppose so. Sure.

18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you wish was there with you?

The Rock so he could lay the smack down on their candy ass.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?

Ohhhh, well, ummmm. Yeah I suppose I would. If I didn't I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Although I would have to say I would probably hesitate less if it was an animal in need.

20. There is no 20, poor 20.

21. You are holding onto your grandmother's hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death?

Well this scenario just sucks complete ass, now dunnit? I suppose these are the dilemmas Spiderman and Batman face everyday...I would have to figure out a way to save both like Spidey does when the Green Goblin tries to get him to choose between saving Mary Jane or the People Mover kind of thing full of kids. I'm just cool like that.

22. Are you old fashioned?

You know a few years ago I would have told you absolutely not. Until I went on a date with this one jackass. He hopped up in his over sized truck without even helping me in (HELLO, I'm 5'2" ya punk) let alone opening my door (it was freezing cold out and the parking lot was covered in ice). Then when we got to the restaurant and the waiter looks to me to order first and the moron just jumps in and orders first. No manners at all and I was seriously irritated. So yes, I guess I am a little old fashioned.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did not expect anything in return for it?

Daily. It's my job to be nice to hourly associates and not expect anything in return but I don't just do it because it is my job. I do it because I really want to try and make their day a little better. I listen to my boss vent a lot too because I know he doesn't have any one else who will. This is pretty nice of me because it takes a lot of patience...trust me.

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart or never loved at all? Why?

I have thought about this one a lot actually. I would choose the broken heart. A few broken hearts have really shaped me as a person and I think made me more compassionate.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

Wow, that's tough. If I could do something I would find a home for every animal in every shelter. An animal in a cage in a shelter pulls at my heart more than anything. If I could wish for anything I would wish that all children who are currently living in a foster home, orphanage, etc. would be given a permanent home with someone who loves them to take care of them. Wow, that sounded really Miss America-ish, eh?

I went and worked out tonight in the hotel fitness center. I think it is important to note that although I used to work out religiously, I have not even stepped so much as a foot toward a workout contraption of any kind. I hopped on the stair climber and I pushed the buttons and it started going and going and going and there was peaks where it got really really hard and the sweat was dripping and making my skin itchy and the room was very very small with no a/c I mean who makes a fitness center with no a/c? And there was a guy on the treadmill who ran faster and faster and the faster he ran the harder he breathed and the more I could smell his stinky breath and the more I need air why is there no air why can't I even feel a breeze I need to breathe I just wanted it to hurry up and be over with and my legs they ached and my feet started to tingle and go to sleep and he has Sex In the City turned on and it distracted me for a bit and I managed to forget about the tingling and his stinky breath and the finally. It was over. I burned my 200 calories.

I went back to my room and I strrrrrrrrrrrrretched my muscles ever soooooooo slooooooooooooowly. And now...I'm tired. Drink of water, bath and bed.

I know, I know the life of a traveling HR manager is just glamorous, what can I say? Don't hate.

Of course I made it through my little ordeal yesterday alright. And really it wasn't so bad I suppose. Well, the prep was (and still is for that matter as it has yet to leave my system completely) but the procedure was truly painless as they put in what they call a twilight sleep in which you are actually awake so that you can still answer their questions and move when they ask you to, but will remember nothing.

My question is, where can I get more of this twilight sleep stuff? I have a few things it could come in very, very handy for. As one example, my trip to Dallas next week for work. Not that I mind the idea of going to Dallas, it's the contents of the trip that will be truly painful and dull.

A few of you asked what I had in mind for the tattoo I mentioned in my last post. The preliminary design I have chosen is kind of a crescent moon with swirling clouds around it and stars. I'm not much of one for amazingly symbolic tattoos, just cool stuff typically. It will go on the inside of my ankle and some of the clouds and stars will continue down over the top of my foot. It will probably be about the size of my hand when I am done. I am also going to get an older one touched up. I got it the day I turned 18 and well, it could use some work. I decided I am not doing color with the new one, all black and white. I am super stoked about it and will be a bit interested to see what they have to see about it at work when bare leg and skirt season is back in. Although my boss just got one himself on the inside of his wrist, but really it's not him I concerned about it anyway. It's his boss that concerns me the most. She is the epitome of the southern belle. Polite, conservative and forever lady-like. You know, basically the complete opposite of me. :)

PS Martha - I will most likely be making a few trips to your neck of the woods, so if you ever want to do dinner or grab some coffee let me know!