Superfluous Baloney

Can you actually believe I am stoked to have three days off this week even if it is because I have to have sinus surgery? Yes, this job has gotten that bad. Have you seen those funny e-mails they send around with the bull's-eye that says "Bang Your Head Here?" Yeah, that's for me. This place is spiraling out of control and is on the path to utter and complete ruin. The shit just keeps on tricklin' down hill around here and it continues to gain speed. I would love to point out to my boss that it is never a good thing when his boss just appears for a visit with only 24 hours notice (especially since his boss resides 1500 miles away), but he seemed unfazed by the visit. But I have it on good authority that his boss will be making another short-notice trip to our neck of the woods around the middle of this month to issue a formal, written "reprimand" to the big cheese himself. Now the question begs to be asked: How in the hell are you to sleep at night knowing that in the near future your boss if going to be written up for things that could have probably been prevented with your help, but he never asked for your help and you don't dare just offer it because in accepting it he would have to admitted that he had made some poor decisions along the way and there is no way his delicate male ego will allow him to admit to a young pup like myself that someone as schooled and experienced as himself (or so he would like me to think) would make such mistakes at "his level?" Hmmmm, just how is this all supposed to sit with me? I'm not sure exactly, but you can bet your new silk bloomers that on the scheduled day of this wretched little event I shall will be gowned in combat gear, flack helmet included, huddling like a wimp under my desk until the dust settles and the fumes from his massive explosion of hostility have cleared from the air. A one way ticket to Aruba would be nice this time of year...

So the boss had promised to give me a set of tickets to one of the races this weekend (there are three). You ever get that feeling that something isn't going to happen because its just too good to be true? And when it doesn't come to fruition you aren't too terribly disappointed because you were half not expecting it to happen anyway? Sooooo, yeah...that happened. He ended up giving the one set he wasn't going to take for himself to an hourly associate because "she's a really hard worker." And because this is my blog and I will cry if I want to, I am going to show my petty jealousy in the next few lines: AND WHAT, like I DON'T????? I don't even make freakin' overtime! I mean with what you pay that kid (we are almost the same age...:) and the overtime she's rankin' in. she's makin' bank dude!! TOTAL BS. Those tickets should have been mine. I even got in an argument with my mom over those tickets and we still aren't speaking over it. (Although this is nothing new in my family. The silent treatment is often used as punishment, but in reality it is just a reprieve from having to hear her drunken banter every night while I am trying to enjoy the quiet, mindless solitude of Everybody Loves Raymond reruns.) BUT, I suck it up and even go so far as to call this associate and tell her I hope she has a great time. She's a good kid and she does work very hard and I can find it in my shrunken raisin of a heart to be happy for her. BUT THEN.... My mofo boss gets TWO MORE tickets to a luncheon and race through the city. And these are not just your run of the mill, stadium seating general admission variety, these are in the Terrace Suites...ABOVE PIT LANE as in THE IN FIELD. And does he even consider me for these since he heartlessly robbed me of the other pair????? Hmmmmm, DOES HE????? Ummmm, no. He gives those to two others guys to enjoy. And one of them has the nerve to come into my office and whine about it like he doesn't want to go. Mother fucker fork over that damn ticket from your inappreciative ass and give them to a REAL FAN...MOI!!!! Bastards....every last one of 'em. (Hope you know I'm smiling as I type this, because even though I would like to be seriously cranky and mad about this I am really excited that these people have the opportunity to experience such a cool event.)

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

As I have made my way through this fog of crankiness that has seeped into my life the last few weeks, there is one ray of sunshine that has remained bright despite my dark and dreary persona and always brings a small smile to my face. This is her: This is Rosalee, aka RosaPee, Rosa Pee Pee, Pee Pee Maukin, Sister Lou, Rose, Rosa, Baby Girl, Shunky (not misspelled, I actually pronounce it that way), etc. She is the best cuddle buddy in the whole world and the only friend a girl needs when the world has her down. She will give you a kiss on the nose when you need it and a warm lap when you are cold and a cuddle buddy when you don't feel like getting out of bed. She is the one thing in my life that gives me unconditional love. She thinks the world revolves around me and whatever I am doing (especially if I am eating something she would like to share) and thinks that every blanket is meant to use for snuggling. She will lay in bed all day with you without a potty break if you ask her. She thinks the sun rises and sets with me. She waits for me patiently every evening looking at the front window for glimpse of my car. The minute I walk in the door she lights up and is just beside herself with excitement. She wiggles her little stub of a tail so much that her whole bottom moves. If I don't stop and put everything down so I have a free hand to pet her with she will squeal and whine uncontrollably. She immediately hops in my lap the moment I sit down, her paw on my chest and promptly gives me a kiss on the nose in lieu of a greeting. The point being, when the whole world is just sucking your will to live, if you can just muster up the strength to look at things from a different perspective and find even the smallest thing to enjoy and be happy about the rest of the stuff won't look so bad. Even though I am stuck at work until 7 tonight I can still smile knowing no matter what time I get home Rosalee will still be patiently watching for me in the window.

Disclaimer: I am about to discuss sports, namely Nascar. Please try to refrain from the redneck jokes for my benefit and if you care nothing about the sport nor understand it, you can still read this for the shear entertainment value and just because I am a cool and happenin chick. Okay fine, read it cuz I said so! Tony Stewart is such a flaming idiot. How can you the days before the ultimate race, The Daytona 500, preaching from the pulpit about the dangers of bump drafting and reckless driving during restrictor plate racing, to only turn around and be penalized for aggressive driving during the race itself. MORON!! Now I have to hand it to the guy, he keeps the shit entertaining. I am a fan of the sarcastic, mouthy drivers such as Stewart. HOWEVER, I will never EVER be a fan of a hypocrite. This idiot has the nerve to lecture everyone in the media about the dangers of aggressive driving and is then involved in three separate incidents in which he intentionally bumped into another driver because he was pissed off at something he perceived they had done to him. HI POT, MEET THE KETTLE. Through his attempts to display his anger in a few well placed bumps and taps to other drivers he actually ended up taking a top driver out of contention for the win. And yes, I know its racing and shit happens and drivers get testy driving around in a circle for hundreds of miles. BUT have some respect for your own preaching a-hole. You could not have made yourself appear any less intelligent then you did this weekend Mr. Tough Guy Stewart. I have always been a fan of your tell it like it is nothing is off limits with the media attitude, but don't stand there on national TV after the race and tell all Nascar fans that Kenseth started it and all you were doing was finishing it. Thought you said "finishing it" was dangerous?????? Or does that only apply to when someone chooses to finish it with you? I knew your nice guy routine from last year would only last so long. Harvick and all of the rest of the smartass gang welcome you back with open arms as long as you keep the hypocrisy to a minimum. And I would just like to close by saying THANK GOD ITS NASCAR SEASON AGAIN!!

Today is the first day since I started this position that I can officially say I hate it. Just like everything else in life, the perfection once known as the dream job has officially come to an end. Despite all of my rantings and ravings since its conception, I have never stopped enjoying what I am doing. But recently, thanks to some very sorry, pathetic folks that like to refer to themselves as leaders (not my leader, but leaders of the worker bees), although I would not use such a bold word, I now seriously hate coming into work everyday. I absolutely love working with the folks I like to refer to as the "frontline." You know, the people that really make shit happen. The ones who, without their diligence and seriously hard labor, you would not have a cushy management job (despite being deprived of overtime compensation). I enjoy my interactions with these folks and feel like they are the real reason I am here. However, as of recent I have been caught up in the bureaucratic BS also known as the management team. There is no way to drive yourself to the brink of insanity faster then trying to deal with a bunch of overly compensated, seriously whiney, bunch of little chieftans. Despite their exempt status and lengthy titles, they have no dedication, no inner sense of right and wrong and no desire to do what's best for the greater good. They are a bunch of self-centered, self-pitying assholes who require a great deal of hand holding and babysitting. I don't take too kindly to having to babysit adults who make twice as much as me. Nor do I enjoy taking hits from my boss because of their manipulative asinine ways. So, hence forward I ignore them. I am not here to support them, do their dirty work or be their friend. As is the hourly mindset, I now too view them as the enemy. I will question their every move and assume every decision they make is based on their own self centered needs and not for the good of their little worker bees. I will work hard to undermine their pathetic attempts at leadership and poor excuses of management skills. Oh yes, they shall perish under my scorn and disapproval. (YES, I know they won't really care. I can be realistic when I want to be I just don't want to right now. So zip it and let me revel in my day dream.)Eventually they will realize how many details I had been silently handling behind the scenes as they start to unravel without my care and they will wish they had treaded more lightly around me.

I am out of control cranky today. I have had two people resign with no notice in the last 24 hours, a supervisor that complained of chronic pain in her arm caused by having to type too much at work, but then refused to go to the worker's comp clinic after I had completed all NINE reports that must accompany a workers comp claim, I'm sick, I have a boss who is sick and being a huge pain in the ass about it, I had to cancel my eye exam (desperately need new glasses and contacts) today because the dumb ass manager decided to change the appointment of the weekly management team meeting at the last minute, my hair looks like ass today and not even the fact that I have one super cute new shoes, its Friday and I'm not broke cannot make up for all the crankiness I feel RIGHT THIS MINUTE. SO, I have decided to snottily close my office door and sulk. The closed office door had always been a point of contention with me since my last peon-status job in which I had a boss who thought every conversation she had was so super important it warranted the door being shut. It used to drive me nuts and I always knew that SOME DAY I would have an office door that I could shut to indicate that I was so super important and privy to such juicy and confidential matters that it warranted the door being shut. And now here I am. But I am deriving no joy from it today. I'm only getting crankier by the minute. But have no fear dear readaz, I have a plan. The workers comp chick comes in at 2 today and she shall have to face the brunt of my misguided wrath. She didn't return her forms to me for the blatantly bogus claim she is attempting to file. So I plan on being amazingly confrontational with her over the matter (something that I have shied away from in the past) and DEMAND that she fill them out whilst I look over her poor wittle hurt shoulder. Bitch best be watchin' her back today.;)

I haven't been sick in a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, long time. But GEESH! I've had a cold since last week when I had to fly to the lovely city of Nashville for a conference and man is it hangin' on. I cam back to work to discover that everyone else had also caught the same lovely bug. So I cannot even be alone in my misery, thus hoarding all of the sympathy for myself. Bastards. Everything is going fairly smoothly in life right now. (Of course that will stop immediately now that I dared to type it out loud.) Work is a bundle of fun. Okay, not really. But it is as much fun as you can have as an HR manager. Only fired one person so far this week. Well, they kind of resigned, but didn't bother mentioning it to their supervisor so we like to call that job abandonment. Fired a guy last week because he was in jail instead of at work. His mom called to keep the supervisor in the loop. Too bad our attendance policy states you have to personally speak with your supervisor or manager when calling in sick or calling in incarcerated as it was in this case. Guess he should have planned out his one phone call a little better. I have been busy at work doing cost comparisons for various conferences that would teach our managers and supervisors how to freakin talk to people like they are adults and not children. Only goes to solidify my belief that it must be rock science and I am the only scientist. Sidebar: Is it not sad that after stating everything was peachy keen in life right now I go into a schpiel about work? That would seem to insinuate that my life revolves around work, like I pathetically have nothing else worthwhile going on around me. Alright, so maybe that is true. But the boy and I only have one day off a week together and have both been insanely broke so we haven't had much excitement in our downtrodden little lives. But alas there is hope on the horizon! Its tax season folks and I have a delightful habit of paying good ole' Uncle Same too much during the year meaning I tend to receive a hefty return. I plan on paying bills (to maintain my level of boring) and spend a tad on FUN STUFF, like shoes.

Nothing worse then when a piece of shit ex decides to contact you. This is a frequest theme in my life and one that I documented in other various posts (http://iambeyondredemption.blogspot.com/2005/06/people-bug-me.html). But this time it more than irritated me. It flat out pissed me off. This spineless bastard decides to e-mail me and accuse ME of giving him a STD that he then gave to his girlfriend: A) Because she was a virgin when she met you? Riiiiiiiight B) Because you were a virgin when we met? Hardly since you were married and your whore of an ex-wife was a cheating piece of crap. C)FUCK OFF ASSHOLE Do you have no clue about STDs? Are you really such an ignorant fool? There are several that may not show symptoms for months, years even. You had better think twice before you go and accuse me of giving a bastard like you something. You need to go back through sex ed and realize that you could have given it to ME. And then you might want to get a reality check and realize that your girl may have been a nickel crack whore when she met you. Rot in hell you piece of shit.