Superfluous Baloney

May I please just ask when the fuck life got so goddam complicated? Why can't people just talk to each other, you know like one human being to another? Why can't they just look each other in the eye and say, "Hey, this is where I'm at." And the other person just state where they stand or what they are feeling. Why does it have to be this complicated dance that is intricately choreographed and plotted out in advance. Almost like a war dance where each strategizes and plots all in order to protect the precious treasure better known as their ego. Even if one does just lay it all out there they are usually met with a dance anyway. You get, "I don't know" or "I'm just not sure" or whatever the hell allots them the opportunity to dodge the whole scenario completely. And all done in the sake/name of saving everyone's feelings. So leaving someone hanging out to dry and sending mixed signals doesn't hurt anyone's feelings? Get some balls and be direct. There may be hurt feelings up front, but isn't that a lot better then just delaying the inevitable or stringing someone along until you find someone better? And isn't that what seeing other people is about? I mean its like, "Hey I'm not sure you are all that great and there could potentially be someone better out there. But its cool if we hang out until I meet her." Yeah, well right back atcha babe. Aren't insurance policies just lovely? I mean you can grab them when there is some couple event you are invited to, but when you want to go out with the boys and not answer to anyone you're covered then too. Because, hey I told you we're not exclusive. Yeah and I am such a desperate idiot that I need to put up with that? With someone who is convinced I'm not quite good enough to deserve the title of girlfriend, but I'll do in a pinch. Thanks sweetheart, but thankfully I have other options and do have enough confidence to believe that I can find someone that thinks I am good enough to wear that title. But thanks for the free drinks, you're a peach.

I was just going to blow this off because I am insanely tired and stressed and did not want to bother wasting anymore of my precious energy on you then I already had. But then I thought, Why not? Even if you never read it at the very least I am sure it will be cathartic. I've known you for almost a year now. Through that year we lost touch for a few weeks/months here and there, but when we did check in with each other again it was always good. I really enjoyed spending time with you because you made me laugh, you seemed really genuine and honest and really seemed to care. In other words you appeared to be different from the other schmucks I had come in contact with. Because of that I was hesistant to explore anything romantic with you for fear of losing you as a friend. I didn't want us to head down that road and end up ruining a friendship I had begun to cherish and enjoy. But we did eventually begin to head down that road together. It has been a slow, but gradual process and as it evolved I begin to realize I was glad we had taken that step. I have always understood that you enjoyed your job and it took precedent over most things in your life. I have been understanding and tried to always take that into consideration. In fact that actually contributed to my hesitation to exploring anything romantic with you. But because you reassured me that you wanted that to change at least a bit I tried not to let it bother me. And now that is the very thing you are choosing as your excuse for not even bothering to call me to break a date that was your suggestion!! I don't bye it. I think you are being a coward and hiding behind your job rather then telling me the truth. And to think that for over a week I have worried that I did something wrong or that you were ill or something! But you know what hurts the most? That you don't even have enough respect for me as a person or the relationship that we have established thus far to even call and tell me the truth! Instead I get some random f*cking text message in the middle of the night. Not even a full blown f*cking e-mail, but a goddam text message. You are a pathetic coward who is nothing close to the person I thought you were. You are spineless and you let your friends treat you like a doormat. You have the most f*cked up priorities of anyone I have ever met. You put your job before everything else in your life yet profess to having a huge desire for marriage and children. Well let me know how being married to your job works out and how it will produce you a child. I am dying to know. I hope you remember no one ever has, "I wish I had worked more" engraved on their tombstone. Have a nice f*cking life.